From the Press Box 1.14.12

NFL Divisional Round of the Playoffs

San Francisco 49'ers vs. New Orleans Saints

The age-old question of what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object definitely applies to this matchup. A top five offense going on the road against a top five defense. Drew Brees takes his 5,000+ passing yards and dozen different receiving threats to San Fran against a Jim Harbaugh's physical defense. Good luck to whoever has to cover Jimmy Graham-the guy had more fouls than field goals while playing college basketball and Brees will surely target the tight end throughout the game assuming the Saints running game stalls.

Did I mention the 49'ers have only given up one rushing touchdown all season? My Calculus grade doesn't indicate that I'm a math expert, but that means that they played 15 games WITHOUT giving up a rushing TD. The Saints have a very underrated and unique three-pronged rushing attack but the 49'ers know how to stop opposing teams' ground games.
If you're similar to the middle school kids with ADD and short term memory loss, here are the two things to write down on your hand or forearm with your scented non-toxic purple marker (I'm personally a fan of writing on your forearm because it's less likely to get washed off and people in rough neighborhoods might mistake the writing as tattoos and be intimidated by you).

The Saints are not playing at the Superdome. It's as if the air is filled with krypton and Superman is at risk whenever he leaves his home. If the Saints played all of their game at home, they wouldn't lose more than one or two games each year. But considering the NFL is a fair league where the teams with the best records get home-field advantage in the playoffs, they have to leave the state of Louisiana after the first round. I can't explain but they're a different team when they leave the bayou.
The San Francisco 49'ers have much less playoff experience than the Saints. The 49'ers haven't played past Week 17 since 2002. That's before rookie coach Jim Harbaugh made a name for himself at Stanford. That's before Mike Singletary's fiery press conferences. That's before Alex Smith went #1 overall to the 49'ers. The Saints have had six playoff appearances in that time span, including a Super Bowl victory in the 2009-2010 season.

           San Francisco will have to keep the Saints under thirty points if they want to have any shot at winning and I can't see Alex Smith keeping up with Drew Brees offensively. Get your Mardi Gras beads, jazz music, and jumbalaya ready-Saints win 31-17.

New England Patriots vs. Denver Broncos

                                                                                                                   

              Same song, just a different beat. The Broncos are a much better team a mile up in the air. Plus, playing at Foxborough is one of the worse locations because that means that they have to face the wrath of Tom "I wear Uggs but don't try making fun of me because I have a supermodel wife and three championship rings" Brady and Bill "My wardrobe consists of twelve different grey hoodies" Belichick.
Anyone who claims that Denver will win because of it's defense is either forgetting or blatantly ignoring who they're up against. The name's Brady, Tom Brady, Agent 0012. The Pats have exited the playoffs after their first game each of the past two seasons and they're definitely not going for the three-peat. Tim Tebow got his $250,000 from winning last game and the victory means that the county will get at least one more year of endless talk about him in in the media. However, he is without Eric Decker and will need more than a Hail Mary to win the game (pun intended).

The Fighting Tebow's lose 31-13.

 Jeff Fisher to the Rams

                   This is the kind of decision that makes fans question “experts” and analysts such as Adam Schefter. Now there’s no question that Schefter is good at what he does for ESPN and no bum off the street could just replace him and do the same quality of work. Miami seemed like the more favorable choice.

                   Why did the Big Three—I’m referring to the ones in Miami, not the ones in Boston, the Three Stooges, or the Three Musketeers—choose to land in Miami instead of Cleveland? 80˚ weather on a daily basis in the winter versus 20˚ weather, snow storms, and a terrible sports city.

                    Miami would have the upper hand in most comparisons between two cities. The Dolphins were 6-10 this year, which is by no means good but at least respectable compared to the St. Louis Rams’ record of 2-14. The Patriots’ days are numbered. Tom Brady has maybe four years of high-level performance but lacks excellent wide receivers, running backs, and defense. The New York Jets took a nose dive this season despite their claims to make it to the Super Bowl and whatever other ridiculous claims Rex Ryan made. The Bills started surprisingly well but in the end turned out to be the team everyone expected them to be. Miami could contend for the AFC East title by finding a quarterback to go along with Reggie Bush and Brandon Marshall, who both had 1,000 yard seasons, and improving their pass defense through the draft or free agency.

                  I understand Fisher, but I don’t necessarily agree with him. The Rams at least have a quarterback, Sam Bradford, to build around for the future, but it’s a quarterback who has faced lots of issues with injuries in the past few seasons. St. Louis also has the second overall pick, which they can use on essentially any position other than quarterback or running back and their team would benefit greatly. Or, they could always go the route of trading the pick for a combination of player(s) and picks to fill more of their holes. Although, in case he has lived under the rock for the past five months, I have a wake-up call for Jeff Fisher--the San Francisco 49’ers are really good. Alex Smith is still a relatively young player, Frank Gore is a monster out of the backfield, and don’t even bother trying to run against SF because you won’t get anywhere. The ‘Niners are going to dominate this division for the next five years at least and it will be difficult to build a team quickly that can dethrone them.

                    We’ll see how Fisher feels about the decision next year around Week 8 when the Rams are 2-6 or 3-5 and the temperature in St. Louis drops to half of that in Miami.

UNC Blown Out by FSU

                    North Carolina basketball coach Roy Williams has never been embarrassed this badly before in his time at Chapel Hill.

                    90-57.

                    That’s more than just a bad shooting night. Florida State almost scored as many second half points as that Tar Heels did in the game.  Two Seminoles, Deividas Dulkys and Michael Snaer, dropped nearly as many as the #3 team in the country. Florida State shot well, nothing jaw-dropping at 48.4%. The biggest differences were free throws and three-pointers.

                      UNC: 9-20 and 4-21.

                     FSU: 18-24 and 12-27.

                   Good teams make free throws, it’s as simple as that. North Carolina was caught on a bad day on the road against Florida State, who played out of their minds. Most top ranked teams slip up at some point during the season and today just happened to be that day. Had the game been played at Chapel Hill, I don’t think the result would have been worthy of the #1 story on SportsCenter as it is now.

Miami Heat Three-Game Losing Streak

                   After starting 8-1 and managing to win a game in overtime without LeBron or D-Wade playing at all, the Miami Heat have dropped three straight games, two of which were in OT. However, the worst news of last night for Miami was Wade’s ankle injury that leaves him questionable for the upcoming games. With a shortened season, the Heat are 1/5 of the way done before the start of the playoffs. They are still second in the Southeast Conference and have one of the best records in the NBA so they have nothing to worry about. For now. As long as they can pull themselves together and turn things around they are still in great position to make a deep run in the playoffs. LeBron has been scoring like crazy this season and a likely frontrunner for MVP

 Fantasy Basketball

                 I’m in my first legitimate fantasy basketball league (the one for computer lab in junior high where you “reported” your own score and the girls drafted the players with funny foreign names doesn’t county) and the draft was last night. I wasn’t able to draft my team live and I was given the last pick of the first round sadly, but here’s my team:

Rajan Rondo
Pau Gasol
DJ Augustin
Al Horford
Marcus Thornton
Wesley Matthews
Landry Fields
Boris Diaw
Nick Young
Mario Chalmers
OJ Mayo
DeAndre Jordan