Thursday, February 2, 2012

What's Wrong with the Pro Bowl?

       When you hear the phrase "All-Star Game" what comes to mind? Let's say you were one of the last people on Earth such as Will Smith in "I am Legend" or Denzel Washington in "The Book of Elk" and you decided to write your own dictionary. Your entry for "All-Star Game" would probably be along the lines of "The best athletes in a league getting together for a fun, made-for-TV event featuring magnanimous egos, trick plays, and a ridiculously high-scoring matchup for the ages."

       The MLB All-Star Game and NBA All-Star Weekend satisfy this reputation in ways that the NFL Pro Bowl in no way, shape, or form can live up to. In mid-July, Major League Baseball gives fans a game that brings both flair and significance. The winning league gets home-field advantage in the World Series and each at-bat is an ace battling against a big-time slugger. Each All-Star Game is almost guaranteed to be a competitive matchup--in the past ten years there has been one tie, five one-run games, two two-run games, and a three-run game. Not only does professional baseball create a popular product with the All-Star Game, but it draws nationwide attention on consecutive nights with the Home Run Derby. I would be just as eager to buy a ticket to watch sixty or seventy homeruns as I would to attend the actual game. I would  argue that the NBA All-Star Game is not quite on the same level as its baseball counterpart but still lightyears ahead of the Pro Bowl. Who wouldn't want to watch a starting five of Derrick Rose, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, and Dwight Howard take on Chris Paul, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, Blake Griffin, and Andrew Bynum? The All-Star Game conveys our image of the NBA on a much smaller sclae. The NBA is a star-driven league that is loved for its high-flying offenses and lack of defense (even if a lack of defense doesn't win championships). That's exactly what the All-Star Game offers--all of the stars on the same court and the total number of points is often on the doorstep of 290. While the Slam Dunk Contest, Three Point Contest, and Rookie vs. Sophomore Game don't deserve to be in the same sentence as the Home Run Derby, at least the NBA All-Star Weekend has something else to offer besides the featured game.

       We took the scenic route but still got to the point--that the Pro Bowl may have hit rock bottom with its latest game. I give the NFL credit for trying to make the game relevant by scheduling it for the week before the Super Bowl and organizing "tweeting stations" for the players, but the product on the field in Hawaii wasn't football. I only needed to turn the TV on for four plays in the second quarter to know that the Pro Bowl wasn't football. It seemed very similar to the games I would play at the village green in sixth grade. No linemen. Pass the ball on 75% of your plays. Never punt the ball. Trick plays once per possession.

       It was obviously bad if one of the premier Pro Bowlers criticized his teammates for "embarrassing themselves" and "lacking pride." One would think Aaron Rodgers, reigning Super Bowl champion would love airing the ball out twenty times to the elite wide receivers in the NFC and not have 300 lb. linemen gunning for him, yet something didn't "click" for him. If one of the participants in the Pro Bowl (and assumedly more but some players probably decided to hold their tongue before ripping the exhibition game in Hawaii) complained about it, it's no wonder that so many fans expressed their frustration throughout social media sites that Sunday night.

       Of course the die-hard football fans enjoyed the 100 combined points and ridiculous numbers that some of the offensive players put up, such as the game's MVP Brandon Marshall--6 catches, 176 receiving yards, and 4 touchdowns. I admit that it was good to hear that the hometown Cincinnati players--Andy Dalton, A.J. Green, Jermaine Gresham, and Geno Atkins--played well but it was like watching pain dry for the majority of the two minutes I tuned into the game. The linemen were the worst players to watch on the field. The game would have been the same had there been only a center and a nose tackle because no one in the trenches was going more than half-speed.

       I understand the players' rationale for going 70% in the Pro Bowl. Their seasons are over and no one wants to get injured. The game is held in Hawaii and Pro Bowlers can fly in their eighth cousins, five times removed (who they have surprisingly never contacted before). Even if they are on the losing team, players are guaranteed 25K. Sure if they win, the money doubles, but an extra $25,000 is chump change for elite athletes who make millions of dollars per season. The pass rushers would give a half-hearted attempt at a spin move, then take the next four plays off and waddle into the offensive linemen blocking them. The game was essentially seven-on-seven. A quarterback, a center, a few running backs, and a handful of wide receivers. And since football is such a physical sport and the championship game is just that, a game not a series, it is impossible to "bribe" the players with "the winning league gets home-field advantage for the Super Bowl."

       The bottom line is that the quality of the Pro Bowl is laughable, yet fans will still watch it. Despite arguably being the worst all-star game of any professional sport, millions of Americans still turn on the TV and waste three hours of their day on the couch watching ninety-eight pass attempts. When you understand what the game is and what it isn't, then there is nothing wrong with the Pro Bowl. But when I compare the success that the MLB All-Star weekend has every July, I wonder why the Pro Bowl falls so much short of excellence.

I've been brainstorming and have done my best to create some innovative improvements to the Pro Bowl:
Realistic
  • Field Goal Kicking Competition
  • Punt/Pass/Kick Competition
  • Take the best two QB's, three WR's, and three DB's from each league and have them go against each other
Unrealistic
  • Eating Contest
  • Poker Game
  • Wiffleball
  • Basketball

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